Normally life yields significant material for me to write about. Regrettable I’m finding ALS has slowed our life down enough that not as much has been happening. Anyway here is this summer’s reportable Smiths of Georgia stuff.

The two big events were the passing of Linda’s father and Lexy getting her license. Of course Linda father’s death was sad.  It had been the last few years that the two of them reconnected after many years of estrangement. It was good they had this time together. 

Lexy got her license and quickly adopted my car as her own.  Her logic was because I no longer drive the extra car was hers.  Female logic starts really young!  Well ten days later she totals the car, guess who it belongs too now.  By the grace of God, seat belts and air bags no one was hurt. 

Dani has moved up to high school.  Within two weeks a seventeen year old boy wanted to take her out.  She’s fourteen.   NO!  was the answer.  This stuff makes me crazy. 

I’ve added a couple assistive devices that keep me somewhat independent.  The Toys that come with this disease gain sophistication as my symptoms progress.  I’ll do a separate entry on the toys for PALS (person with ALS).

The simple version is that we call it "unanswered prayer" because we didn't get the answer we asked for. God answers prayer in one of three ways: yes, no, and wait. But God does not always answer the way we want Him to.

For example: the apostle Paul mentions that he had a "thorn in the flesh." He prayed three times that God would take it away, but God did not.

Jesus asked that "this cup" be taken from Him but it was not.

God answered their prayers but the answer was "no."

Imagine if God healed everyone that was prayed for, no one would ever die. I can't explain why sometimes he extends a persons life and sometimes he does not. But that's because I tend to think in terms of absolutes. Who can say if the people we have been praying for would have died much sooner had we not prayed for them.

We don't have to understand the "whys" of God choices in order to have confidence in Him. He is honest with us. He has never promised us eternal life here on earth.

God understands things that we cannot comprehend and so even when we don't like it, even when we don't get it, we know that He knows best. And sometimes it is best to tell us "no."

He knows better than we do. He knows what she would have had to experience in the months and weeks to come.  He knows what temptations were coming her way, and He knew what was best for her!  We don’t see the whole picture, but He does. 

I would point out that it was not a case of an “unanswered” prayer, but of a time when God said “No” He still answered, but not with the answer we wanted.  It is great when our will matches up with God’s will, but sometimes our will is not what God knows is best for either us, or our loved one. 

The issue of unanswered prayers came up after Linda’s mother passed away. Lexy asked with so many prayers for her grand mother to get well why she died. With my ALS continuing to progress the question has arisen of why God has not intervened, as many prayers across the globe have asked Him to do so. After Lexy asked her question I sent an email to four Church of Christ preachers for their understanding of unanswered prayers. I thought most would be interested in their response. I will post one response each month. The first is below. It’s from the preacher at the church Linda’s mom attended.

Response # One:

The true answer is “God’s will is always better than ours.”  But still, we pray that “our will” be done.  Jesus tells us that God knows what we need before we even ask Him (Mt 6:8) but still the Lord knows that we “need” to ask Him (pray).  Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane that the Father “remove the cup” from Him (death on a cross) but knew that God’s perfect will might mean that He might have to die on the cross so He closed His prayer with “your will be done.” 

You see we just don’t know God’s will so we continue to pray.  All of us will one day die and transition from “life” on earth to everlasting “life” (as Ursula did – Heb 9:27).  God blessed her with a long, happy life (Ps 90:10). 

Did God hear the prayers of the family and friends?  Oh yes!  Did He answer our prayers?  Oh yes!  His answer was: “I know you love your mother, grandmother, friend … and so do I … but there is so very much you don’t know and I do.  It is time for my daughter to come home.”   

I’ll post another next month.

After our shopping adventure, we headed to a nice visit with my oldest sister and her two sons. It was a great time hanging out with them. Salem/Roanoke is a neat part of our country with its history, landscape and generally easygoing folks.  

Its was a short visit as we needed to return home to attend Dani’s first Ti Kwon Do tournament. On Saturday morning we headed out to a high school gym about an hour north of us. Luckily there was a Starbucks along the way. Well, was I surprised. There were six sparing mats (read rings) and hordes of kids. The place was active the entire day with the several hundred kids competing for bronze to gold metals. I did some quick math in my head. If this was a conversation my wife would quip dryly if this was painful. Based on the entrance fees alone the promoting of these events is a pretty big business. This is way more serious and sophisticated then I imagined.  

We signed in and then we waited and waited…at 3:00pm Dani’s match began. Apparently there are not many beginners (white belt) at Dani’s age who do tournaments. There was only one other girl her age close enough in ability (yellow belt) for her to compete with. Even though it was a lot of effort for one round, it was good for a first time out as she got a lay of the land for next time and hey, she was guaranteed to win a metal.  

Her sparring partner was taller and one belt higher then her, both causes for concern. When the match started Dani’s opponent came out kicking, seemingly without thought. Dani was clearly surprised by the barrage, but smartly leaned into her opponent negating any force and contact of her blows. More importantly no points were being scored. As the kicks were going awry some landed on Dani’s ankle and after a minute Dani was limping in pain. The referee stop the match, Dani was attended to and back in the ring ready to continue quickly. I don’t know what was said to Dani but forty five seconds after the second start Dani had knocked her opponent down, scored seven points and the matched called in her favor. Her opponent walked off the mat crying and bleeding. It happened so quick we stood there a little stunned and confused.  

Dani collected her Gold metal. As we where walking out I asked Dani what happened. She looked up at me with the eyes of a worrier and said; she made me mad.  

The boys are in deep trouble.

More on our tip later….

Ursula Dayle passed away January 14^th at 5:50am. The cancer was to aggressive and wide spread for conventional or alternative treatments to overcome. Over the past few weeks we had to accept that our desires would not prevail and God was determines to take her home. Linda is having a difficult time with this loss. I suspect it will be some time before she is able to think of her mom without tearing up.

Since Christmas we have spent as much time in Franklin, TN with mom then at home. We have one last trip this weekend (1-20-2006) to gather with friends and family to say a final good by.

The Smith family is getting along swimmingly of late. Linda is thinking about going back to work. We will see what she decides after the holidays. I’ve wondered what I would trade my Managing Director title for...We'll see if I’m manly enough to run the house and two teenage girls. From what I’ve seen so far it’s a 50/ 50 proposition.

Smith taxi service is up and running with the kids after school activities, tennis lessons, Tae Kwon Do, friends outings, it goes on and on and on…our girls don’t stay still long.

Linda’s Mom reports that her most recent CT scan shows most of the tumors are not growing, some are smaller and one is a little larger. She is doing well and will continue her treatments both conventional and alternative.

We are off to Denver for Thanksgiving. Linda’s close aunt and uncle from Sun City West, AZ moved there to be close to their only son and Linda’s only cousin. We’ve not seen them in a few years and they are in their mid 80’s, so it’s time for a visit. We are looking forward to a nice family holiday and maybe some snow.

From the Smith’s of Fayetteville, Georgia we hope for you a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving.

My wife thought the attached photo was funny. Being kind of a redneck I’m still undecided if this is funny or just true. I personally would have less limo and more trailer. But hey, each to their own!

Pictorial overview is below

The sprint to the end of the summer has been a whirlwind of activity that started the end of June with a visit from a friend and her kids from Daufuskie. The first set of pictures are from an interactive Zoo in south GA and the second set is from the worlds largest aquarium. We then move to July 4^th with a family visit to East Point lake located on the Georgia / Alabama line 1 ½ hours south of Atlanta. Good fun was had by all. The week after we went to Nashville to visit with Linda’s Mom and the Monday after that I went to Newport RI for a few days to help an old friend with a project in the area. Upon my return the family headed to Daufuskie Island / Hilton Head for a visit with old friends, former work associates and a birthday party. We returned to a need to shop until they drop in preparation for the kids start of school August 7^th. We hope you enjoy the pictures.

Dani returned from camp in one piece, happy and three new friends to the good. She said she missed us. We suspect that she had little time to think about such things. She pretty much sleep for two days on her return. Overall a great time for her.

Two days after her return I drove to Panama City Beach with my Dad for three days. He calls these excursions walk abouts. He does them twice a year or so, normally alone. Now that we are both retired we did this one together. One of the many blessings that comes with my ALS diagnosis is spending real quality time with my parents. The last few months have been precious time with them. I’ll do a couple of blogs over the next few weeks about me and my dads trip to the “Redneck Rivera“.

The Smith family and our home has settled into a routine. The girls have school and friends and Linda and I have family, homecare and improvement and staying engaged in our kids lives. As a family church is very much part of our lives. The last few weeks have been uneventful and filled with life’s normal going on’s.

We did take a quick trip to Nashville TN to visit Linda’s Mom. She is having surgery to remove a tumor May 22^nd. We thought some family support would be helpful. So we showed up over mothers day weekend. We had a nice visit and a great mothers day meal at the Opryland Hotel. Both girls school end May 26^th. So we are in the throws of planning family travel, kids camps, church camps etc. We expect a busy and active summer.

The Smith family has been visiting two Church of Christ congregations in Fayette County trying to determine the best fit for our family. For those not familiar with Church of Christ Church www.fcoc.com/whatwe.htm,most congregations are 50 to 100 members in size. The last two congregations we have worshiped with where under 70 folks. Well Fayette County grows them bigger. One is about 180 members and the other 350. It has been interesting navigating the get to know them process. They offer so much and there are so many people to meet. Getting a handle on the best fit for us has taken much longer then we expected. In the end they are both fine congregations. So we broke on the line of offerings for our kids. One has a large youth program the other is just getting their youth program started. It has been over five years since our girls have been in large youth group so we thought they deserved this consideration. In the next week or so we will become members of the Fayetteville Church of Christ. The one with the 350 members. www.fcoc.com